We Hope JV Vance (I know that it’s JD) Can Follow This Simple Math Lesson for the Willfully Dense.
America First! YEAH BABY! (Shut up stupid.) The battle cry of patriots, the hymn of the morally bankrupt, and the slogan of people who believe that wrapping themselves in a flag makes their ignorance smell less like rotting garbage. It’s back, baby! Again! Because apparently, history is a 3D printer constantly churning out newer, shinier versions of the same old garbage.
And just so we’re clear, America First is fascism. It always has been, it always will be, and no amount of deflecting, flag-waving, or “but muh freedoms” is going to change that. The equation is simple, yet apparently, some people need it tattooed onto their foreheads in Comic Sans before it sinks in:
Fascism = Nazism = America First.
And before some slack-jawed Twitter bot, fresh off a PragerU binge, screeches, “That’s not fair! Fascism and Nazism aren’t the same thing!”—shut up and read a book.
A Quick Stroll Through History (Since Some of You Slept Through It and Most Likely Failed It)
Where does “America First” come from? Well, buckle up, because if you thought it was just about “loving your country,” you’re about to get hit by a truckload of reality.
The America First Committee was founded in 1940 by a bunch of well-dressed, highly educated bigots who thought Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy after all. Their main mission? Keeping the U.S. out of World War II because, you know, Nazis were doing such a great job on their own! They had support from wonderful people like Charles Lindbergh, who gave speeches about the “great Jewish conspiracy” running America (spoiler: he meant that as a bad thing).
Lindbergh and his fellow bootlickers called FDR a warmonger for wanting to stop literal genocide, and they spewed classic Nazi rhetoric, just with an American flag stitched onto it. But here’s the fun part: Once Pearl Harbor happened, these same geniuses scurried back into the shadows, pretending they were just misunderstood patriots all along.
Fast forward 80 years, and we’ve got the same slogan, the same xenophobia, the same isolationist nonsense, and the same thinly veiled bigotry—just with better branding and social media managers.
Why America First is Fascism Dipped in BBQ Sauce
Fascism isn’t just a word you throw around when your favorite fast-food chain discontinues your favorite sauce. It’s a political disease marked by the following:
- Hyper-nationalism (Check)
- Glorification of the military and law enforcement (Check)
- Obsessive hatred of immigrants and “outsiders” (Oh, big check)
- Lies disguised as patriotism (Checkmate, baby)
- Attacks on the media, intellectuals, and any form of dissent (Fox News would like a word)
- A creepy devotion to a strongman leader (You already know the guy)
Now, tell me, does any of this sound at all familiar? Maybe a little bit like… oh, I don’t know… EVERY SINGLE AMERICA FIRST MOVEMENT WE’VE EVER HAD?
And yet, every time we point this out, some genius in a trucker hat and a Let’s Go Brandon hoodie jumps up like a malfunctioning Jack-in-the-box to tell us we’re being hysterical. “But America First just means we care about Americans!”
Oh, really? Then explain why it always seems to mean white, straight, Christian Americans—and screw everybody else. Explain why “America First” always leads to book bans, racial purity dog whistles, and open-air rallies that look like a MAGA-branded Nuremberg.
You don’t see the Swedes running around screaming “Sweden First” and then jailing journalists and banning books. You don’t see “France First” movements marching around in tactical gear threatening to take over the government.
But America First? Every single time it rears its ugly, greasy head, we end up with some version of concentration camps, government overreach disguised as patriotism, and a bunch of smooth-brained morons telling us “it can’t happen here” while literally making it happen.
Fascism in a MAGA Hat
Still think “America First” is just about protecting American jobs and values? Well, congratulations, you’ve just swallowed the same propaganda that let fascism take over entire nations.
- When fascists gain power, they don’t show up wearing skull insignias on day one. They come wrapped in flags, holding Bibles, and talking about “traditional values.”
- They don’t march in and immediately declare war on democracy. They chip away at it bit by bit—by demonizing immigrants, rigging elections, packing courts, and convincing people that objective reality is a leftist conspiracy.
- They don’t just take over by force. They convince regular people that freedom is the problem and that only their strongman can protect them from the evil, scary world.
And the best part? They always, always, always think they’re the good guys.
The Nazis? They didn’t call themselves evil. They thought they were “saving” Germany from “corrupt elites” and “globalist influences.” (Sound familiar?)
The fascists in Italy? Same thing. “Restoring national pride” and “stopping dangerous foreign influences.” (Sound familiar?)
And today’s America First crowd? “Making America Great Again,” “Stopping the Deep State,” and “Defending Real Americans.” (SOUND. FAMILIAR?)
Stop Pretending This Isn’t What It Is
If you’re still defending “America First,” you’re either historically illiterate, willfully ignorant, or just straight-up fine with fascism as long as it happens to someone else. And if that last part is true, congratulations, you’ve officially failed the Am I The Baddie? test.
Fascism didn’t start with Hitler in a bunker. It started with “innocent” slogans, with people excusing the bigotry, and with cowards who thought they could control the beast once they unleashed it. Spoiler alert: They couldn’t. And neither will you.
So the next time some sweaty guy in wraparound sunglasses and a flag cape tells you “America First isn’t fascist,” just smile, nod, and hand him a history book. Not that he’ll read it, but hey, at least you tried.
🔥 Final Thought: If this pisses you off, GOOD. It means you were either thinking about defending fascism or you just realized how deep we’re in it.
Now, what are you gonna do about it?